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Tuesday, December 14, 2010

The Gang That Couldn't Play Straight.

Here it is, my first baseball post.  You knew it was coming didn't you?

Well now that the Cardinals have added Gerald Laird, the team appears to be set for 2011.  And what a team it is.  Let's break it down shall we?

Cards acquire Ryan Theriot.  Pretty decent 2B, looks like a good pickup.  Wait,  he isn't going to be playing 2B but SS?  But, but..........oh wait I forgot, the Cardinals have Skip Schumaker the best non second baseman in the league.  You know that guy who is really an outfielder but has been playing second base because.........well that story would take a day and a half and a gallon of coffee to write about.  So, Ryan Theriot is going to play SS, that position where we already have another Ryan, Brendan that is, that guy who made all the web gem highlights on ESPN and who the Fielding Bible says is the best defensive SS in the league?  What do we do?  I know, let's trade him away for a 21 year old A ball pitcher who has control issues and is milleniums away from sniffing the major leagues, if ever.  Done.  Now we have a better hitting SS but possibly the worst middle infield defensively in the majors. Heck, defense isn't important right?  So what if we have a stable of ground ball pitchers? They can adjust. Strike em all out boys. I'm happy, aren't you?  Moving on.

Cardinals sign Lance Berkman.  Wow, I didn't see that one coming.  A good impact bat.  Wait, doesn't he play 1B?  What about Albert Pujols?  Eureka! The answer is staring us right in the face.  We will play him in the outfield.  So what if he hasn't played the outfield since 2007 and then he was really really bad at it?  He can hit that ball, and well there is that knee issue, but I'm sure it is nothing to be concerned about.  He should still be able to catch those fly balls that are hit to the exact spot where he is standing.  No worries.  Besides we have a couple of Gold Glove outfielders already to take up the slack.  What? We don't?  Oops, must have been thinking of some other team.  My bad.  Looks like the defense is not looking so good in the outfield either.

Now we come to our final acquisition.  Gerald Laird our new backup catcher.  We have really been improving that offense so this last acquisition should be our final triumph.  Oh no, Laird hit .207 for the Tigers last year?  No offense there. But he is great at defense!  Threw out 34% of would be basestealers last year! Yes! We finally have that defense we need!  Except we already had that at catcher and Laird probably won't play more than 20 games all year.  Gee, just when I thought we had the perfect team.  But we have the best player in baseball so that solves all our problems.  At least for 2011. Maybe.

Well we have that future Hall of Fame manager, Tony LaRussa to lead this gang to the World Series.  He can do it. He has the tools he needs.  Those guys who make him happy those guys who will do anything for him.  Those guys I just mentioned.

Hey did you hear the Phillies signed Cliff Lee?

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